I have this inability to turn my brain off. I will over think and over analyze everything if left to my own devices, and tend to do so on a day to day basis. I think that is why I originally turned to writing. When I put something down, and leave it out there to see, it no longer becomes my problem alone. By sharing what I'm thinking I can relinquish my sole responsibility on its domain, and slowly let it go.
The problem is that I am also inherently embarrassed with my writings, and I'm far from able to really write down all that I would like to. Some things will just always be mine to stew in, and maybe that makes them special. The memories and feelings that I can't express will always be mine alone; unique and special.
I've recently had a bad week, and by my 'first-world' standards, it was fairly awful. Yet as it played out I noticed that I never experienced that soul crushing despair that can sweep you away. Underneath all the happenings stood this perpetual foundation of indomitable spirit, and a confidence that things will continue to play out just like they always have. The ups and downs that form the staccato timeline of youth tend to level into a more linear flow, that becomes less defined by what you do and instead who you are.
I can't expect the world every day. Everything I do and have ever done has been through a series of steps, and this will be no different.
Full steam ahead.
Thanks for Reading,